Red Fantasy

I want him inside of me now. As I sit at my kitchen table, friend beside me, dual laptops, I just read his response to my blogging, and I want him now. I want everyone to be gone from here, though I love my friends staying over... I wouldn't even care actually. I could be quiet. I could just trace his entire body with my fingers and kiss him until he stopped me. I could kiss those lips for hours. I could kiss him all over for hours. Quietly. Just listening to the faint sound of his breath as my non-verbal cues. Even if they heard, they wouldn't care. I wouldn't care. I just want him.

Today was fun. I drank too much with my friends. We played cards until just now. I found a beautiful organic basil plant. I can not wait to plant it tomorrow.

And again he creeps into my consciousness. Submissive, he says. Entices me. And then says he's also dominant. I am very, very interested in relinquishing control to the right person. It's a side of me I've never explored. And I am so very eager for experience.

I think sexuality and sex are odd phenomena. So much of our desire and innate urges are denied, conditioned out or just plain suppressed. Same as organic things, such as body hair, defecation, sexual desire, etc. It's all perfectly natural and shared among all humans. Yet these are the things which we deny so strongly, in so many ways. I just want to not be that way. I don't need to worry so much about it. I know who I am in most ways, and I am open sexually. I want to explore more, and I can't deny my attractions.

He attracts me, and I just want to touch myself when I think about him. I want him to touch me. He does so well.

*re-reading this, remembering, I am so swollen and needing to be touched. I will touch myself now. Somehow, though I am not alone. It can be done.

Red-tastic

I can't get him out of my head, so I must write. I told him to stay tuned. I just didn't know it would be so soon. I didn't think I would still be all swollen almost twelve hours later and writing about him just to get rid of the lingering memory.

So wow. Not sure what else to say. Rarely am I that attracted to someone physically. If I hadn't had friends coming over, I would have asked him to stay, something I never, as a matter of principle, do. EVER. Even after he dressed and was leaving I grabbed him and kissed him, chatted with him, for at least twenty minutes. I feel like I should not feel this way about a client, but I can not help myself. He was so cute, firstly. This is the first thing I noticed. That his photo, in no way, does him justice. "Wow" I said "You're really good looking".

Before he went to shower, I looked in his eyes, grabbed him and kissed him, unsure of how he would react. He said he'd never been with a big girl, and I was afraid of rejection after I saw him. But, I was in luck. He responded with a very soft moan and kissed me back. I put my hands on his neck and face and pulled him closer. He moaned again. I was turned on at this point. I was even a bit turned on when I first saw him coming through the walkway. I put my arms around his neck. He moaned louder and put his arms around my waist, pulling me right against him, making me groan. We stayed like this for a couple of minutes, kissing outside the washroom door, rarely losing eye contact. Finally I let him go wash his day away, and I ventured outdoors to retrieve my art book.

I went to my bedroom, unsure of what to do. I ALWAYS, or almost always, know what to do with a man, especially one so young. Should I leave my pants on? He likes tight jeans... Or should I be waiting in my black lace undies when he emerges all clean? I opt for the undies, take off my pants, and lie on my bed reading, waiting for him. Finally, the shower turns off, rustling occurs, and the washroom door opens. He walked to my room wrapped in only my burgundy towel, smiling shyly. I smile, put my book away, and rise to my knees. He's in front of me. I pull him to me, smile, and flick his nipples with my tongue. I love licking and sucking, pretty much anything clean and fresh-smelling. I think I have an oral fixation (which, if you think about it, is possibly associated with breast feeding? Something I think I never did).

I just wanted to hear him moan. To please him, make him feel good, and make sure he comes back for more. I'm already in trouble at this point, I already want more, and he's still in a towel. I lick and suck him for a while, savoring his sighs and breath, and then I reach for him and kiss him deeply. Sometimes, whoever I am with, all the eye contact gets to me. But not today. Not with him. I just wanted to watch him, to see him in pleasure. He seemed to get off on my pleasure as well, which is a turn on in itself. We kiss like this for a while, doing exactly what he told me he likes, which happens to be exactly what I like. Lots of kissing, no rushing and just savoring a new lover's sounds, smells and smiles. The kind of thing that, for me, is nearly impossible to fake. There must be some attraction if I am kissing someone like this. Just because I am getting paid doesn't mean that under different circumstances, or in a different time, it wouldn't happen for free, or that I can look deeply into your eyes and make you feel something not real. I could, but not in bed. In bed, I am pure me.

And he smelled and tasted so good. I wish he was right beside me right now. Client/personal would cease to exist. I would cross that forbidden un-crossable line and just make love with him all night and cancel all of my appointments tomorrow, including three which could prove to be very lucrative.

What else happened? We kissed alot, passionately, playfully, eagerly and unhurriedly. My undies came off. His eyes almost popped out of his head over my breasts. Guys really, really like my breasts. I still don't see all the fuss. Or all the fuss over my cum. To me, it tastes like yogurt. I don't know what else to compare it to. It's been years since I ate pussy other than my own. Off topic, and now I am thinking of pussy. I'm so turned on again. Am I a sex addict? Possibly. Probably. Yes. Likely. I am. Whatever.

So yes. We kissed, I got swollen, engorged, wet. While we kissed, he asked if I wanted a wet tongue in my pussy. Ahhh. Just hearing the words, and even remembering them now, makes me swell and pulsate. I lie down and he started. First, with my nipples, and teasing my lips with his tongue. Just how I like it. Not a tongue jabbed into my mouth. Just light flicks over my lips, just a simple swipe inside my mouth, followed by his lips on mine. Just like that... yeah. He made my nipples hard. I pinched them as he went down on me. For an inexperienced young man, he was unbelievably skilled at oral. Wow. It's ironic that a few years ago, I BEGGED men to eat me out and they consistently refused. Now they pay me. I love it and brag about it more than I should. The quality of men I now attract, both personally and professionally, is astounding compared to that.

And who knows how long after this, he kisses me, letting me taste my barely-there taste and scent. It's intoxicating. I love smelling myself all over a guy's face, fingers and body. Reminds me of his willingness and hunger to please me. And of my own willingness and desire to please him. I tell him I want him to lie down and he smiles and lies down. I turn and face him, and get on top of him, making sure not to let our bare parts do not touch. I want to let them touch. I want to do everything with him, but I stop myself, the way I always stop myself. I just shove my nipples in his mouth, alternating them, shaking them, and my ass, against him. All the while, he's watching me with those brown eyes, driving me crazy.

I kiss his lips, his neck, ears, lick him all over his neck, listening for verbal cues, for changes in his breath. For sighs, moans and groans. I know he likes to be kissed. He likes to be kissed the way I like to kiss a man I am seriously attracted to. I wish I had kissed him everywhere, head to toe. If I see him again, I will kiss him everywhere. For today I settled with lips, neck, ears, cheeks, eyelids, nose, chest, nipples, stomach, thighs and cock. When I reached his cock, I took my time. Got him ready and licked him up and down. Made him harder before I put my lips around him. He has a nice penis, and I definitely want to spend more time with it.

I don't even remember the sequence of events anymore. Nor do I think it's important. He asked if I "did facesitting" which made me laugh out loud. "Hmmm... it's my all-time favorite thing" I said. I told him he was in a perfect position and straddled his face, with my chest and arms against the cold wall in front of me. I want more. NOW. To be rubbing against his face, chin, lips, nose... hearing him moan beneath me, feeling him pull me closer to him. After a while, I turned to face the other way, so that I could take him in my mouth. Eventually I could take it no longer. I knew the time was nearing when my friends would arrive at my door. We'd been together for almost two hours. I told him I wanted to see him come. I told him to keep stroking himself as he was when I was rubbing my pussy against his face. I knelt in front of him, and put my hard nipple in his mouth, which he greedily sucked. I knew I would come at any moment, rubbing my wet, swollen clit with my fingers. I wanted to see him first. I couldn't wait. Well, I could have. I could have stopped fingering myself, but I just told him I was going to come any time. He was pleased, and stroked himself faster. Do men have any fucking idea how hot they look when they jerk off? Especially if they stroke it like no one is watching; Legs all open, toes curled, their hand just a blur of frenzied motion. Suddenly, finally though, it was too late. I'd rubbed myself too long, and even when I stopped, I was started to climax so I just told him I was coming. "Yeah?" he said breathlessly and excitedly, which just caused me to explode. I saw his cum shoot from him, on his chest and arms. I almost fell completely on top of him as I came.

Fuck. I want it now. I must sleep. I have a meeting at 9 am, which is.... oh wow. 2.5 hours. Just amazing. I am pleased.

Time wasted

I had so much time wasted today. I turned down TWO of my favorite clients to meet new ones. One showed up late and missed me. The other never showed up period. I'm tempted to post his name, email and phone number, as he is ignoring my messages, but that would be unethical. Lucky for him I am a benevolant woman.

Frakkin douchebag

Friday night was nothing to sniff at either...

I met a new slave on Friday. A small-cocked wonder he was, with a surprising accent that I still can't help but try to imitate. We met outdoors. He looked insanely normal. The kind of normal person who would play a twisted killer on CSI. Cute though, and well-spoken.

I got him inside, discussed rules, and got him undressed. He passed the scent test for cleanliness. I've had a few dirty boys who did not. I scolded those losers for ever daring to present themselves to me that way, though I now think not harshly enough. There was one, Ethan, who I even let slide with it back when I first began. Au futur, he will not get away with that. But Ethan has stopped coming around and is nowhere near deserving of even a snippet of an entry, so back to my new slave. I'm going to call him Mr. Tiny as I feel he is deserving of that title.

Cute, big innocent eyes and a calm demeanor. Perfect. I feel like when recounting the tale, I can let loose more than in the moment. The hardest thing about controlling these little foot stools is controlling my own desire. Not letting them blow their sad little loads all over themselves is one of my greatest challenges. But I enjoy seeing them squirm more than I enjoy seeing them squirt, so somehow, always, je me d'ébrouille.

So Mr. Tiny began his training by kneeling between my fully clothed legs. He was told not to call me Mistress or any cheesy, banal names like that. Boring! He was told to raise his hand if he wanted to speak. Unless spoken to. He did mumble a few answers at first, but a few firm What-did-you-say?'s and he was speaking clearly for the rest of the session. Apparently, he likes being my bitch. I know this because after I tested his basic obedience skills, with which I was fairly impressed, I had him rise, turn, and bend over before me on the bed (and at that moment I was filled with a searing anger over the douchebag who stole my strap-on. Who does that?? It would have been so perfect to have at that moment). I was at a loss as to how to make his ass red without a serious lashing. I spanked him repeatedly but never quite achieved the redness I sought. Next time I will re-double my efforts and make that boy's bottom burn. Next time.

This time, as I had him bent over, with my gloved hands slapping and probing him, I confirmed that he was, in fact, my bitch. And that he's a pathetic little shit. He even admitted it, which did not surprise me. And with his manly-yet-nerdy type accent, I was understandably pleased and aroused. Pleased enough to use THREE different colored clothes pins on his balls. I started with pink, which for some reason, likely social conditioning, I would think men would find most emasculating. I wasn't sure how much he could take, and I know I can go much further next time, but I placed first pink, then light blue, and then green. I wish he had agreed to be photographed. He looked great from that angle, his balls pulled back tightly, his tiny limp cock just hanging there, helpless and begging to be slapped around. When I shoved my anal prober inside of him, he looked even better.

I fucked his ass for a good long while, trying my hardest to pace myself. I just wanted to make him eat my pussy. But instead, I made him watch. I sat him in a chair across from me and removed most of my clothes, except for my bra and panties. I told him that I wanted his little cock to grow. I told him that if he liked me, he would get hard for me. I told him to stroke his puny cock but not to come. "Do you know what will happen if you DO come? I will make you eat it. You will come when I say. Understand?" He said yes, emphatically, he did understand.

Something about fucking a guy's ass and then watching his stupid attempts at making his tiny cock larger, as I idly rub my nipples through my bra, really gets me going. I stood before him, ordered him not to stop stroking himself, and removed my bra. I ordered him to suck my nipple. And the other. He did this for a while, hungrily. I was swollen and knew I would climax soon if I went near my clit. I removed my panties, smelled them, and shoved them into his open mouth. I lie back down, and told him to keep stroking himself. I told him how badly I wanted to fuck. If only his cock was bigger, I would fuck him. I told him how pathetic he looked, with my black panties stuffed into his mouth, little cock in hand, furiously stroking up and down. I started fucking my pussy with a vibrator, fast enough to make myself moan and gush all over it. I got up, took my panties out of my mouth, and made him suck it. He did it, looking at me all the while. He kept moaning the whole time, turning me on even more.

He earned a taste, I thought. This is what I told myself. I ordered him up and down, right on the floor, in front of my bed. I stood above him, and squatted right down on his face. I lifted my dripping pussy up and down a few times to tease him, and then I was kneeling on his face, with my chest and arms on the bed. I never positioned a slave exactly like that before, but it was perfect. I told him to suck me first and he did. I told him to lick my clit next. My cunt was so swollen. I could feel his nose and chin between my lips. I knew I would come right away. I couldn't stop it. Only one guy, ever, in my whole life, made me come that fast by licking my pussy. I rode his face for less than 3 minutes and I was convulsing all over him, with my cum dripping on his face, him moaning under me and still feeling his arm furiously stroking his cock. (In contrast, the other guy who made me come like that from oral, years ago, was deported back to Brasil two weeks later. Less than 30 seconds! No joke. Someone even came out to use the washroom while I was climaxing.)

I don't normally allow slaves to eat me out, but I am so glad I did. I kept telling him that it was really too bad his cock was so small. I love to get fucked by a big cock after I climax. Not for too long, just as long as it's big and stiff.

What happened after that... I tortured him for an hour. I forced him to masturbate while watching me play with my pussy. I told him to make himself come, and tell me when he was going to explode. At the moment he was about to come, I told him to stop stroking. I told him, again, that if he made a mess, or came, he would have to eat it. Then I told him to make himself come again. And I told him to stop. I did this for some time. Finally, a placed a clock in front of him and told him to come all over himself at EXACTLY 1:20. He was told that he had only one minute. If he failed, he would not be allowed to come. He watched the clock and sure enough, a few seconds after 1:20 struck, he was coming all over his chest and stomach. I kissed him gently and thanked him, and then ordered him to clean himself off.

I have such fun plans for him next time. The ropes must come out. And I had this overwhelming urge to dress him up a bit... Teach him exactly how to make me come. Perhaps give him an orgasm test. So many ideas for my little bitch. And I mean bitch in the nicest, least sexist and misogynistic way. I have a real affection for these slaves. Too many ideas swirling around right now. I must sleep now.

A Day of Firsts.. Saturday

My very macho, manly Italian friend painted his fingernail shiny purple! That was a first, and something I never imagined I would see. My local bar now serves fruity girl drinks. Another first. I indulged in several fruity girl drinks and for the first time in a long time, I could not drink any more. I lost my favorite sunglasses and I didn't freak out in the sun.

I also had sex with a client. Officially. That's what I went there for. That's what we discussed. The two times it happened in the past, it just happened because I was so horny that I offered it. But this time that was what I was there to do. It feels like it's been a while since I got fucked, and I think, for my standards, it was. A few weeks, at least, and then it would have been with one of my since-departed lovers. Sigh. I miss them alot, still. The wound is fresh and raw, but I do have needs. The sex I had on Saturday was a welcomed distraction. It was also the first time I went "out" for a call where things worked out well.

And well.. I was very pleased to say the least. Some nice flattery and kissing to start with, sucking on my nipples, oral on me, facesitting (my all-time fave!) on a really comfy, well-positioned bed... and then doggy-style fucking. He had such a nice cock. And he was so cute, innocent looking, and smelled so good. And he fucked me so good. I almost felt bad, I enjoyed it so much. I didn't come, but I could have I think. I was so turned on, so swollen and so wet. He then turned me around, on my back, and fucked me for a few minutes. I think I made him come when he stopped thrusting and I kept pushing against him. I didn't want him to stop, but I get off on watching them come too, so what I am to do? I just lie back and watched him come into a condom, all dripping and engorged I was.

Overall, a fantastic day. Hot sex, extra cash, fun with friends and a new appreciation of a new and previously harshly judged neighborhood. Which neighborhood... that is a secret!

XOXO

I'm so horny now. I have a boobage session tomorrow morning. I can't sleep, though I should be. And it's so damn cold! Where has summer gone? (that's rhetorical. Thanks corporate world for the joys of global warming)

Thinking about sex

Things ended the other day with all of my lovers. I liked them alot, but I wasn't getting what I wanted out of those relationships. I will hold out for a guy who really cares about me.

But in the meantime, I still have to have sex, and I wonder if a happy medium would be to just give my clients what most of them want? I wouldn't have sex with all of them, but I am considering offering it to some of them.

Perhaps I am deluding myself out of loneliness, but I think this may work. Perhaps I'll place an ad and see what kind of interest it generates.

Maybe I will. Maybe I will...

My First Testimonial :)

HAHA!! I got my first "testimonial" email today. I've received many compliments, but this was so extensive and well thought-out that it was more impressive to me, and thus worthy of the "testimonial" label. He said I could post it on my blog if I wished, so here it is:

"Hey Janelle,

Wow. I just saw you a few hours ago and I'm still hard thinking about what we did together. I can't get over how huge and soft your breast [sic] are. That pic you post doesnt do you justice my dear. And you really are beautiful. You should really thinking about posting face pics with your ad. You would get alot of business. There are so few truly big, beautiful women, but I would count you among them. I'll be jerking off to your blog pics shortly ;)

Thanks again, and see you next *****day,

Daniel VanDerWoodsen"

Name changed to protect the sexy and satisfied.

I am so flattered!! I'm very busy with painting these days. I'm just going full speed back into erotic art.