Bras

I'm heading out for a bra fitting. I may purchase one, I may not. The bras where I'm going range from $80 to possibly $200 (maybe more, I don't know). I'm scared. Scared to leave the store in tears, which is generally what happens when I go bra shopping (which, honestly, I never do. How have I managed all these years?). I feel weak, but it is so frustrating to have hundreds of dollars to spend on lingerie and not be able to find anything. I also want a corset at some point. But for me, these things are insanely expensive.

Oh well. I have a feeling this will go well. The lady I spoke to assured me that they have up to KK cups in stock. I'm positive I'm not that huge. I put myself at F or FF because the 2nd largest bra I've ever tried was an EEcup, and the largest was I cup. The I was a bit loose, and the EE was extremely tight. So... I don't know. Maybe I'm larger than FF and I can increase my size on my ads.

Wish me luck readers! I'm taking a budget of $140 with me. I may hold off, or I may come home with a new bra.

Open mindedness

I was asked a while ago on the phone to describe what I meant by "open-minded", as I claim to be that on my ad. "Well", I said awkwardly, "it means I'm not a conservative kind of person. That I am open to try new things"

Does that include Greek, I hear in response, once again, because, apparently, saying "NO ANAL" in my ads/blog is not enough. This is the fourth such inquiry in two days.

"Well" I say again, "that has nothing to do with open-mindedness. I'm just not into pain". Which, to be honest, is not totally true. I do enjoy spanking, and getting spanked if it's done correctly, and I did have that wicked orgasm once when I put clothespins on my labia and nipples. But that's another, hotter story.

When I say open minded, I mean open minded. I mean I don't see normal as "normal". I see society's normal as weird. Mortgages, marriage, kids, minivans, cable and flat screens all irk me to no end. Give me a pair of cuffs any day of the week and watch me invent a new game. I mean I like to bend and stomp on gender roles. I question everything, even when I am absolutely certain I know it all. I've done anal, I just don't like it. I give anal with a bitchin' strap-on. I am aware that everything we know in this life may be just one huge dream. The point is, I am open to the possibility of anything. But anal-obsession is so banal, you know?

I guess in my world the measure of one's open-mindedness isn't whether or not you're willing to take it up the butt. It's more about being in-tune with your sexuality and knowing what you want, but also being willing to push your boundaries and try new things (which, to me, does not include ass tearing. Been there, done that. NEXT). And what's with the obsession with anal these days anyways? Geeeez. I have a cunt as tight as a 10-year-old's. Granted, the caller has never sampled my cunt, but still. Is it just because people watch too much mainstream porn and think that rough, degrading, nasty sex is fun for me? (HINT: Those women are ACTING. Shocking, I know)

Either way, there are thousands of women out there who offer anal, at a much lower rate, so why are they bothering me, I have to wonder?

Waiting...

Waiting doesn't become me. Not exactly. I'm what some may call impatient. Impatient, others would think, is the understatement of the millennium. Either way, what I lack in patience I make up for in passione. But here I be, waiting for a conference call. *BOONG* Inbox pings. It will be another five to ten minutes, apparently.

I watched half of the Pervert's Guide to Cinema yesterday. Interesting. But I don't want to get into that now.

I'm just sitting here, questions, paper and pen ready, waiting for a call and thinking of sex. I've been like this since as long as I can remember. But I feel as though, contrary to last year's fears, I'm approaching some kind of peak, where I know with more certainty what I want and how to get it. Only my own fears hold me back.

And there's the call...

And the guide. I love Zizek

30 things I love about my work

There are so many reasons I love what I do, creative and artistic work aside. This is a preliminary list, inspired partly by Isabel Hosti's 69 things I love about sex work video (sooo hot and sweet)

1. The smile on the face
2. I enjoy making people feel good
3. the look in the eyes
4. Hot showers and delicious body wash
5. Painting my nails red
6. The hardness
7. My swollen pussy
8. The breathlessness
9. Cum-filled male stomachs
10. Role playing
11. Moaning
12. Orgasm from oral
13. So many faces to sit on, so little time
14. Music
15. Squat fucking
16. The adoration
17. Counting cash
18. Powdering my ass
19. Revealing my huge breasts
20. Straddling
21. Twitching cocks
22. Buying panties for brown-haired white boys
23. Wearing my strap-on
24. Kissing
25. The smells of cologne and sex
26. Feeding my oral fixation
27. The anxiety and anticipation
28. Boobs. Lots of boobs in this profession
29. The thanks-for-brightening-my-day clients
30. Mouths and fingers on my hard nipples

Cock

Lately... all I can think about is cock. Big, medium, small, throbbing, twitching cocks. I had totally hot sex this morning, twice, and still... I want more cock. I just want it available all the time.

And what's with all the people asking why I am single? Aside the fact that most guys are too scared to date a big girl like me, I want to be single. I genuinely like it. Maybe one day I'll fall in love again, but it won't be soon. Then again, who knows? But I think for me to find a partner, given my standards, and given what I do, will be extremely difficult at best.

As I have learned through my amazing clients, all of the good ones are taken (and cheating lol).

Don't you wish you were me? I love my life!

Literally sitting around in my undies

Very quiet day today. But nonetheless, I took a long, steamy shower, used my new body wash and scrubbed, exfoliated and rinsed. I love long, hot showers. One day, when we deplete all of our resources, I will miss the hot shower most of all. I dried off, put on some baby powder, and put on my white silky bra and panties, the simple ones. And a grey, tight negligé. I'm gonna do my nails, curl my hair and wait for some sexy men to contact me. I'm so very horny today. Maybe I'll watch some nice amateur porn and just finger myself all day (after my nails dry, of course)

Maybe I'll just play yoville?

LOL

I am literally laughing out loud. I don't know if it's the simplicity of it, or that it was totally unexpected in a sea of worshiping men.

I posted an ad for a cleaning boy on craigslist, and this is what someone answered:


You lazy bitch. How about u come clean my house and I'll dominate you

http://toronto.craigslist.ca/tor/cas/1462864289.html


Sent from my iPhone


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LOL. I dunno. Normally that might offend me, but I'm still giggling. (and I am a bit lazy sometimes.)

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