Sunday 26 December 2010

Previously Unanswered Questions: NOW IN ANSWERED FORM!

To answer one of my own previous questions:

YES. Some clients will stop, and have stopped, seeing me because I've lost weight. Although I should say to those clients, if you're reading, I've gained quite a lot back, so come on back darlin'. Drastic cut down on exercise, cold weather and 1/2 priced cupcakes will do that to a person sometimes. Plus what I lack in extra fat I make up in for in added exuberance, freakish leg strength and WAY more energy to torture and smother you. I'm lighter, but stronger.

And to answer some of your, my fans' and clients', questions:

YES. I am flattered that you jerk off to my pics. However, telling me in person, during a session, as my most recent client (Dreamboy) did, is way more awesome than telling me anonymously. He lives in another province. Knowing that he will be getting his sexy self off to me from hundreds of miles away is such a turn-on, especially now that I have an image of him to fantasize of later. That he paid me for my time shows me that he appreciates me and what I do. And that's better than an email from someone I never meet. It's nicer to put a face to the... errr.... fantasy. Do not let this deter you from sending fan mail, however. I enjoy hearing from everyone, even the jerks who call me names. And especially the ones who just jerk.

NO. I did not travel over the holidays. I stayed in Toronto and played host to an intimate gathering of friends and chosen family, and one mis-vite. Rumnog was drunk, drinking games were played and many gifts were exchanged. Melancholic but beautiful time. I am ashamed of the excessive food leftovers (which I am going to be munching on shortly).

YES! Santa did find me! He brought me vibrating nipple clamps, many new and smoking hot clients, and a book of mostly skinny-bodied nudes, amongst many other treasures.

NO. I don't have a boyfriend. I don't know why. I don't know "what's wrong with people". I can't explain why "someone so beautiful and amazing" as me is single. I don't know what is wrong with being single anyhow. I enjoy being single. I do enjoy intimate partnering, but I've always been pursued for sex more than relationships. I actually accepted a date for today and was rudely stood-up. I'm a romantic at heart, but I'm also a very strong-willed and independent person. Aside from fat-phobia, slut-shaming and general stupidity, I hesitate to offer explanations for my Lack of Boyfriend (LoB)™. Frankly, offering an explanation seems to suggest something wrong with not having one, and, frankly, that's bullshit.

YES. I painted that. I am an artist, and have been since I was a toddler.

YES. People actually pay me good money to have really good sex with me. I'd imagine they do it for the same reasons as other people: they think I'm hot, or they have a fantasy, or maybe they want to get crushed. And NO. I don't really care if you think I'm "ewwww". That's your business.

YES! I AM for real!

MAYBE. But chances are, I've never been there. I've hardly traveled at all. I grew up relatively poor, and have been on my own since age 17. Add to that impulsive spending and lack of passport and.... oh what the hell! I have no excuse. I'm taking a trip this year! *looks up at passport application*

A Real Cunnilinguist (and some generalized Astrological observations)

A friend of mine, we'll call him Aurelius, came by last Tuesday night. It was late, maybe 3AM, and I was still up. His email came in hours before, and just as I was off to bed, thinking he'd made other plans, the proverbial bootie call came (rather, bootie email). He was here within 15 minutes. What ensued was very memorable.

We chatted a bit, about travel, politics, niceties, sex. There's a very odd chemistry between us. I'm mildly attracted to Aurelius, and he to me, but it's really just a sex thing. And really mostly just an oral sex thing.

Now, he's eaten my pussy before. He was good at it. But this night was different. I've had oodles of men go down on me, and make me come in literally seconds. I've had some top notch oral, mostly from paying clients (something I can never seem to wrap my head around), but this was different. I can't remember a time when anyone gave me such unbelievable oral sex.

First, he teased my nipples, obviously. He's a Scorpio. Not meaning to generalize, but... in my experience, they're the hottest, most passionate lovers (with their opposites, Taureans, taking a close second place, and those beautiful moon-ruled Cancerians never failing to please either) . The little things are not wasted on them. Blowing in the ear, teasing the little belly hairs and even the swelling effect in my cunt are lost on some guys. But never on Scorpios. The Scorps I've been with really enjoy their sex, and they really take their time with it. And he was no exception. After he got me all inflated by way of my nipples, he made his way slowly down, kissing every ample inch on his way down. When his face was inches away from my erect clit, I could feel his warm breath on me. My entire body was on fire. His tongue started to lick me, just barely, flicking about on my outer lips, thighs and ass. He didn't even graze my labia for several minutes. For a second, I wondered if I smelled off. I knew I'd showered recently, and surely he would say something if I did? And then, his tongue hit me, just barely, and I shivered and moaned. He licked my huge, swollen labia up and down, barely touching me as he did. "Oh wow... that feels awesome" I told him and he moaned, feeling like a gentle vibrator. I started to feel extremely relaxed, and I looked down to see his smiling face diving down again. This time, I spread my legs wider, and he groaned "oh my God. Look at this beautiful pussy. You're so swollen baby!" and I told him that was entirely his doing.

He licked me, gently, up and down and all over my crotch area. His tongue went right inside me, deep and hard, and he moaned some more. He actually paused to tell me how good I taste, something I hear often. "Give me your tongue" I said to him, and he came up to kiss me briefly, letting me taste me. And back down he went. Admiring the view in my mirror of his backside and my spread legs, and the view from above between my legs, I knew I was being teased. It was delicious. I love being teased and taking unlimited amounts of time to discover someone's body, and I love when someone takes so much time to discover mine. We're all so similar, but sexually we're all so different. I love learning these little erotic mind spaces and secrets we all possess. And apparently, one of his secrets was that he is an expert pussy licker. He was moving his tongue up and down, right between my engulfed lips, still barely touching me. At any point, he could have made me come with even a few strokes of my clit. But he still hadn't even touched my clit. I could tell he was thoroughly enjoying teasing me. While licking me I ask him "do you like when someone teases YOU this way?" and he moans into my cunt. So I continued asking him questions like "you know I'm gonna slow-torture your cock later, right?" and "What are you doing to me?" and he continued to moan. When I told him how I was going to tickle his whole body with my long hair he moaned so hard that I almost came.

Finally, he made his way to my clit. Though it was completely erect, I reached down, and with my two hands, stuck it out even more, whispering "lick it, look how hard it is". "Holy FUCK!" he said, looking at it, then at my eyes, and he dove on it. He sucked my clit briefly, then moved back to my labia, which, I am increasingly learning, is a huge nerve-center for me. He then started licking ALL the way up and down, from clit to ass, then back again. He was using the most gentle pressure. I could tell he was barely touching me at all, but the sensation was heavenly. He did this for maybe 45 minutes, keeping me fully swollen the whole time. This must be what blue balls feels like, minus the pain (though I have experienced the frustration and pain of being fully swollen and on the brink of orgasm only to meet an anti-climactic end): A constant wave a pleasure without enough pressure to cause orgasm. But I love this kind of treatment. I knew that if I had to, I could reach down and and rub out an orgasm anytime.

I didn't. I just lied back and enjoyed the amazingly soft and gentle tongue licking me expertly into submission. I've never felt anything like that before.

By contrast, after I'd had my turn with his cock, I found myself sitting on his face a number of times, and at the end, I was hovering above his face, rubbing my hard clit and watching him stroke himself. Waiting for him, I came as soon as I saw him explode. That was all it took, and I even stopped stroking myself and came anyhow.

Thanks, Aurelius, for the most amazing oral ever! You blew my mind, and your load, and I discovered something new that I enjoy. Next time I will try humming a whole song while he's in my warm mouth.

Sunday 19 December 2010

About Last Night...

It was fantastic, Crème Brulée. You had me from hello. I admit it. Beautiful, smiling, friendly men are my weakness, my fatal flaw, my sun on cloudy days. These things alone are enough to turn me to putty. Add into the mix the softest lips maybe ever, silky facial hair, a clean hipster aesthetic, similar hobbies and sexual prowess, as well as some BOMB-ASS weed and enthusiastic, responsive kissing... I can see why my friend said "don't fall for clients" as I was gushing about the awesome session. Well-meaning and misguided though he may be, a hot session does not equal any kind of falling. But it does mean my thoughts for the next few days, weeks, maybe even months will occasionally drift back to him, and last night, and what we did.

He sent a pic, which rarely happens. He looked like a model, so I wanted to assume "spam/phishing" but something about his email told me I would be meeting him. And sure enough, near or after midnight, he calls and I get the warmth. We make a date for an hour, and he shows up in a half hour. Even one minute after saying he was five minutes away, I hear a knock. I was not ready! But oh was I ever ready. I didn't know it, but I was about to get everything I'd been idly wanting all day: some hot, paid sex with a hot, fun partner.

We partook and chatted. I felt slightly shy, as I often do lately, and after we butted the doob, I said "what now? shall we talk?", then I pulled him close and he came to me. He kissed me perfectly the first time, and he was into it. I kissed him for a few minutes, feeling my body already tingling in arousal, before I stopped and complimented his skills. Hands began to linger on each other, and finally I just wanted to be all over him. I asked him to come with me and he followed me eagerly to my bed, where we undressed down to our underwear.

His eyes, so appreciative and sparkly, were on me constantly. Eye contact tends to turn me on. I always like to look at my lovers. His lips, soft, full, surrounded with silk, were on me constantly. Nothing turns me on like intense chemistry and really, really good kissing. We just kissed and kissed and kissed, hands in hair and on backs, asses, arms. I'm too distracted by thoughts of last night to even write about last night.

He spoiled me. He turned me over, and on top of me, kissed me everywhere. What is up with these beautiful boys and the Goddess treatment? He even referred to me as such. I was in heaven, with those eyes darting up to look at me and a very experienced tongue and mouth working on my smoldering body. He licked my pussy like a professional, taking his time and making me totally swollen before even licking me. I almost came just from feeling his tongue on me.

After licking me until I was dripping, his shorts came off. Perfect compact little body, and a jumping perfectly sized cock. I just laid back and shook my head in disbelief. How can this be my job? How can I be getting paid for this? And then 69, my favorite. He was quite the rock star in that position. I know it's difficult to get properly angled, but he was making full, strong contact with my clit. I could tell he liked the humping motion, he had asked me to dance on him, after all, so I worked my hips back and forth on his face as I sucked him slowly in my warm mouth. Again, highly distracted.

After kissing and licking him everywhere, and sucking him lovingly, I had to have him inside me. Condom. I straddled him again, breasts, again, in his open and waiting mouth, sucking them until my pussy throbbed. If not for the insane twitching on his part, his amazing dick would have slid right in, but it was quite literally jumping all over the place when I came near it. So I guided it in, just barely, and bent down to kiss his waiting lips. I wanted to feel him gasp when I slid down on him. He kissed me hard, pulling me close to him and pushed himself up inside me and I was the one who gasped. It started slowly at first, then built into furious fucking, kissing, moaning and bouncing. We did this for an hour, at least. Me on top, him on top, stopping to kiss. Then slowing down, moaning, talking, kissing, just using our muscles to squeeze each others' bits.

This story doesn't end with a big climax scene. I don't think either of us even did. I don't think either of us cared. I know I didn't, and don't. I came twice today just thinking about kissing him. I was satisfied with kissing, oral pleasuring, amazing skin-tingling fucking, kissing, did I mention kissing, and then briefly sleeping in each others' arms, and kissing goodbye for five minutes. Tell me what's better than that?

Fantasies: ALL business

I've noticed a trend recently. When I fantasize, i.e. when I am getting off (or trying to), it's almost always clients who feature most prominently. I guess that more than a year into escorting I am still shocked that 99% of my sessions are fun, satisfying, and with people I am really attracted to. When I began, I had SO MANY misconceptions about sex work. I just thought that those things didn't apply to me. When I began, I still thought that many hookers, strippers, porn stars, etc. were likely just cokeheads with hot bodies who probably didn't enjoy what they were doing. I'm not sure why I thought I was the exception. Meeting other like-minded sex workers completely opened my eyes. But then, my eyes have opened to many of the biases and judgments I carry around over the past year. I thought only people who HAD to pay for sex (whatever that means) paid for sex. But no. I remember seeing Brown Eyes, my second or third client, ever, and thinking "holy crap! he must be a cop!" WHY would such a GORGEOUS man be paying for sex? Especially sex with someone like me (me being much less confident at the time), i.e. someone many men wouldn't even admit to being attracted to?

It still baffles me at times. I think much of it is the anonymity. Maybe a lot of my clients wouldn't want to date or otherwise spend time with me, so they feel they should compensate me. Many are married or attached. Some just have a specific fantasy. I'm sure a huge chunk of them fear rejection. But this is not what this post is about.

Fantasies. Lately they involved the following: twitchy dicks, poking, warming and tickling my thighs and ass. Female nipples and clits, being licked and sucked, by me, to perfect orgasms, no reciprocation required. Two of my favorite clients ever, the new one from last night, let's call him Crème Brulée, and Nate, the golden shower enthusiast. I picture Nate under me, licking me, drinking my piss, and Crème Brulée, sitting on his chest, kissing my lips and nipples, and maybe even playing with Nate's equally formidable cock. I think those two together might literally be too much for me to handle, and don't think either of them is bi. Pity. Would I have a heart attack in the face of so much sexiness? Other fantasies involve the Unicorn, Dinar, and a young man I will call Pompadour who came by a few weeks ago to service me. Even after he came, he stuck around to make me come. Rare in guys who aren't paying.

I dunno. For all of my open-mindedness it still seems weird to me that the sex I get paid for is almost always better than the sex I end up having for free. I'd argue that I get off on the anonymity, but the longer I see clients, the hotter our connections seem to become.

So yeah. If you rocked my world, chances are you get me off even when you're not around. I still can not believe the boy from last night. Un-fucking-believable.

Sunday 5 December 2010

This Ain't Your High School Chemistry

We'll call him Dinar. I almost didn't answer the phone. Three prank calls today, all within 3 hours of each other. Why do these plods insist on interrupting my girlfriend time / mall trolling with their nonsense and name-calling? "Do any other service providers have to endure this kind of abuse from clients" I asked my beautiful companion, before thinking about what I was saying. Of course they do, we both agreed.

These kinds of calls were running through my mind when the phone rang earlier. Something told me to answer. I heard a vague French-ish accent, a bit of shyness, and what sounded like genuine interest. My instinct, which is what I mostly rely on, cried "PROCEED GIRL" so I did.

45 minutes later, after I'd showered, powdered, spritzed, brushed and dressed, he arrived. Well-groomed, nicely dressed, and very handsome, he entered and smiled, and I asked him to close the door.

We took care of business and I led him to my bed. I took off my shoes and laid (lied, lay?) down. He, fully dressed, smiled and laid down next to me. Though I could already sense it, he informed me that he may be a bit shy at first. I told him that was no problem. I just wanted to kiss him, so I did. When he responded with his warm tongue barely touching mine, we both moaned. "Mmmm... you're a very good kisser" he said, parroting my exact thoughts about him. At that moment, I knew this was going to be a very good session.

I took my time kissing him. It varied at times from lip-numbingly hard, to soft, to full-on tongue sucking and then light nibbling. We kissed for a while, moaning, clutching each other's torsos, necks, arms and hands. We were still clothed when I got on him. After kissing a while, I leaned back to remove his sweater. As he pulled it off, I lifted my shirt over my head and tossed it aside. "Oh baby" he muttered as I brought my full, bare breasts down onto his salt-and-pepper bare chest (I want to lie my head and hands on that chest right now). I hadn't even ventured down to his crotch, nor had he to mine, but I was already way beyond aroused. Being on him, feeling his hard-on under me, and his mouth on my nipples, and seeing his gorgeous and appreciative face was causing me considerable swelling. I continued kissing him, then placing my breasts in his open mouth, watching his eyes and feeling for twitches down below. There were plenty. I moved my hips against his, and rubbed myself against him, almost coming several times. Then he was on me, rubbing against me, touching my face softly, then kissing me hard. He seemed to like sucking. Lips (both sets), toes, fingers, nipples, neck, ears.

He literally kissed me all over, as he promised he would. Moving slowly down, kissing every inch of my body, smiling at me, looking for signs of my enjoyment, I told him he was amazing. I began to feel like I should be paying HIM. For the briefest moment, I thought of all the women (and men, and trans peeps) I know who are unsatisfied with their partners and with sex in general, and thought "here I am getting paid to be pampered and adored by a beautiful, intelligent man. How awesome is this?" These thoughts dissolved after a few seconds when he got down to my crotch area. I went to pull my panties down, but he said no, wait. I love to be teased. I love to take my time, and get lost in lips and arms, fingers and skin. I want to spend time smelling, tasting, listening and taking in as much as possible. He seemed to embrace this method as well. He kissed, nuzzled, nibbled all the way down to my stockinged feet. He pulled one stocking down, not without some difficulty, and I briefly worried about my (at that moment) unshaven legs. I hadn't shaved them for years. He either didn't notice or didn't care, and kissed, licked and caressed them anyways. He then lingered back up, and I really just wanted to kiss him, so I did. At some point during all of this, his pants came off, and he was clad in the cutest orange shorts.

My cell phone kept vibrating. My home phone kept ringing. I jumped up at one point, remembering, and ran to the door, locking it, afraid that my buddy was going to stop by (I forgot to tell him I had a client coming). I ran back, and told him "I don't want anyone coming in. I don't really feel like sharing you ". We kissed, both of us on our knees, and then lied back down. This began an intense session of him licking my clit, labia, vagina, nipples, thighs and more clit. Leg-shaking ensued. At one point, he had me move to the edge of the bed, propped a pillow under my ass, and went to town. He isolated my clit, and licked it perfectly, sometimes just barely, which was particularly amazing. When he started fingering me, I knew I would come, but not how I imagined. Something different happened today. It felt like I was going to pee, but I knew I didn't need to, so I just went with it. It felt like something came out of me. When asked, he said he noticed nothing, and then we kissed some more. I'm still not sure what happened, but I want it to happen again.

I reached down to his ample bulge and rubbed it very gently. I don't even remember taking his shorts off. He was very hard, ready and willing. I wanted to kiss him all over now, and I knew I was going to be keeping him beyond what he had paid for. Moving, not without some reluctance, away from his mouth, I sucked, licked and kissed his neck and ears. Continuing down, I brushed my face against his chest, letting the soft, short hairs tickle my nose and eyelashes, giggling as I had when he was licking my toes earlier. All the while, he was brushing my hair from my face, watching me watching him. Stomach, nibbled. Hips, kissed. Unable to ignore it any longer, I moved down to his crotch area, opening and getting between his long, strong legs. His erection was jumping at me, trying to get my attention, but I went to his thighs, smelling and kissing him. So appreciative he was. This is the ultimate aphrodisiac for me: Being adored, pleasured and explored, and then doing the same for my partner (the root, in fact, of my kvetching about the impossibility of simultaneously sucking and fucking a man's cock). Being down between his legs with my ass in the air, and hearing his moans were making me extremely wet and swollen. All I wanted was him inside me. I would start with my mouth.

I let my breath stir the hairs around his wonderful dick. I licked his balls so gently, I was a bit surprised he responded so instantly and enthusiastically. "Ohhhh wow... oh... that feels SO good". When I sucked one in my mouth, turned on by his scent and taste, he gasped for air. It's wonderful when the most nuanced of my touches are so appreciated and noticed. Some of my more subtle moves are lost on many. Eyes fixed on each other, I began to very gently flick my tongue against the base of his cock. Gasping again, he started to moan more loudly, which only encourages me and increases my desire to please him. It's so satisfying to be pleasing a partner who just pampered your entire body with passionate abandon. I kissed his cock as I had kissed his lips, slightly wet, gently and with feeling, and then more deeply, moaning, sucking. His responses were my reward. I moved up and down in this way, not giving in and just plunging the whole length of him into my warm mouth. Just delicate kisses, licks and vibratory moans.

Finally, I moved up, made my mouth slick with spit, and gently licked the head of his penis. His moaning got louder, and he had an almost desperate look on his face. After a minute of this, I wet my lips and wrapped them around the head of his cock. I just held it in my mouth, swirling my tongue around it, slowly, then faster, taking my cues from his moaning. Finally, wanting to drive him wild, I let my mouth slide down the entire length of his cock, very slowly, until a minute later I had all of him inside my mouth. It was twitching violently, and I knew if I kept going much longer he would climax. And I still wanted him inside my pussy, which was dripping, open and ready. I sucked him lovingly for a few minutes then moved back up to kiss him. He leaned forward to meet my lips with his. I melted into his arms again and began touching him all over.

"Please tell you're going to let me fuck you" I asked him, stroking him up and down slowly. He pulled me close, kissing me, and said "yes, please", with wide, innocent eyes. Smart me bought Magnums™ today and I ran out of the room once again to grab them. Out of the wrapper, I rolled it all the way down, practically salivating, and with an intense throbbing in my cunt. I sat on him and pushed his hand away, knowing he would slide effortlessly into me. He was rock hard and I was soaking wet, and sure enough, with my tongue in his mouth, his cock slowly filled me up. "Oh! My god! You're so tight!" he cried and closed his eyes. As I moved upwards, he looked at me, and we kissed and moaned and things, typically, become a bit blurry at this point. I slid up and down on him, slowly, then sitting up, letting him see and touch my nipples and breasts, then coming down and positioning one over his willing, sucking mouth. He opened his legs slightly, and began thrusting faster. Then he slowed down, pulling me as close to him as possible. Then I started bouncing up and down on him, savoring the delicious hardness inside me, and I felt his cock begin to expand. I bounced lightly on him, and his eyes expanded, and a look of agony mixed with ecstasy came over his face. His eyes closed, and I could feel him pulsing and throbbing inside of me. "Did you come?" I asked hopefully, not certain because of how stiff he still felt. "Yes" he said "that was so.. fast.. I don't know why" as though it were a bad thing. I was terribly pleased that I'd made him explode with such ease. (Sidebar: men, there is no need to be ashamed of climaxing "too soon". As long as you stick around and take care of your partner, and wait until you're hard/ready to go again, what's wrong with enjoying the release? I think it's the "spill n'split" that we mostly have a problem with, at least in my humble opinion). "I have that effect on the boys" I told him, making him laugh, grabbing me and kissing me deeply.

I grabbed the condom, and slid off his still-twitching member slowly, stroking it lightly, moaning at the site of the filled condom. I lay down beside him as his arm wrapped around me. Time check: we were 25 minutes over what he'd paid for. I didn't care. "I could do this all night" he told me, and I knew he meant it. While I generally do not allow clients to stay over for free, on a couple of rare occasions, when the connection was intense enough and the timing felt right, I gave into my intimate desires. "I guess this is what they call chemistry huh? They tried to teach me in school, but I think they had it all wrong" he said sweetly.

Tempted, I was. But life was calling. We kissed and caressed each other for about fifteen minutes more, laughed, joked and chatted and then I knew I had to prepare for the evening ahead. So, reluctantly, and after an interesting dialogue surrounding my bookshelf, he was dressed, looking insanely handsome, and gently stroking my face. "You're the total package" I told him, and explained to him why he was a unicorn. "You're straight. You're funny, handsome, intelligent, amazing in bed, and SINGLE. Basically, you do not exist. And um, you have a really great horn too" grabbing his crotch and pulling him towards me. "You're going to have throw me out, or I'll stay here all night" he said and after a five minute kiss goodbye, I watched his tall frame walk out the door, leaving me alone with my memories and wishes that one day a man like that will ask me out on a real and proper date. One day. It will happen one day!